Keeping the romance alive - #MFRWAuthor
MFRW Author 52-week blog challenge
I apologize for missing the last couple of weeks. For those who haven't heard, my father passed away. It's taken me a little time to collect my thoughts and drum up some smidgen of discipline to forge ahead with work and other commitments.
This week's blog challenge prompt is how to keep the romance alive as we age.
My parents were married for 55 years. When not napping, Dad's eyes lit up when Mom came into a room. Speaking with him while on an extended visit, in 2018, to help care for Mom as she recuperated from hip replacement surgery, he told me he still considered her beautiful after four children and all those decades.
"That's my woman," he whispered and smiled. My heart just melted.
I don't know if my husband thinks of me with that endearing possessiveness. I doubt it. Just as I no longer see him with the starry eyes of a 20-year old girl, he no longer sees me in the same way. We've both changed over the years. I can say now that I enjoy his company and conversation more than I did when we were dating. He's not as competitive with me as he used to be. He's learned to accept my writing and I've learned to accept his ephemeral interests in the many hobbies that capture his attention. He's learned to accept that, yes, I will always have at least one horse and multiple cats. I've learned to accept that too many tools is never enough. He can always make me laugh, no matter how dreadful the circumstances. I hope I do the same for him.
We have very different interests and that's okay.
With age (often) comes maturity. We've learned over the years and adapted to one another's quirks and idiosyncrasies. Some still irritate, but we've either learned to appreciate or shrug off most of them. Whether that's comfort or a mellow kind of romance, I'm not entirely sure. The hot, heavy, sexual romance fades, leaving in its place a gentler and more enduring type of love.
We don't need to spend every spare minute in each other's pocket. We have long since learned that marriage does not make us a single entity with a single personality. We are still different people with separate opinions and distinct preferences. With that realization comes tolerance and unconditional support.
Perhaps that's not the kind of romance we write about or dream about, but it's a real kind of romance that weathers the trials and tribulations of life without crumbling from a lack of perfection.