A little more rope ...

I came across a post in a Facebook freelancing group. The person posted that he was seeking an editor. I responded with my usual direct message along the lines of: "I have over 30 years of professional editing experience and would be happy to discuss your project with you."

I received a response directing me to email my CV to another person's email address. Spidey senses tingling, I did so anyway. Next came an email message asking for my name (um ... that was in the Facebook communication) and address. The message further explained (in poor English) what the potential client expected of me and asked how much I charged "Per page of 28 pages of Magazine and Manuscript?" Next in the message came the request that I "Precisely Calculate" my estimated cost per day for eight hours, then to calculate my cost per week with a total estimated cost. Simple math could solve that problem.

Yowzah.

Spidey senses still tingling, I responded with my agreement to edit for them for their top-of-budget $4,000 per month, stating that I would not guarantee them full-time availability. I'm freelance, you know. That means I have other clients whose projects receive the same care and attention and the time they need as I would give to his. As response came back to the effect that the client would mail me a check for 40% of the agreed-upon fee. Without a contract. Without discussing the project itself.

Now my spidey senses were really tingling!

Yesterday evening, my husband received a notice that someone had texted my business number. The poor English was a tip-off. I understand that one cannot tell whether a number is a landline or a mobile number just from the number. Shortly thereafter, he received another notice: whoever was texting wanted immediate acknowledgement.

This morning, I replied via email that the business number he texted was a landline that did not receive texts and that my cell phone number was personal. He responded immediately via email: "If your cell phone is personal how do you expect us to communicate?because I still don't understand you , Are you kidding on this project ?"

I replied that as we were communicating via email, that seemed to be a perfectly viable option. He also had the option to call me. The phone rang.

Guess who?

I enjoyed a short conversation with a gentleman who spoke English as a second or even third language. He demanded I give him my cell phone number. I refused. If he needed me right away, then he wanted a guarantee that I would respond immediately. I replied that I would respond to him within one business day. He said that wasn't good enough; he needed immediate access regardless of the time of day or what I was doing. What if I were out of the office, he asked? How could he get hold of me then if I did not give him my cell phone number? I replied that if I were out of the office, I would not be at my desk to answer and would get back to him the next business day.

We went aroud and around on that for a couple of minutes. He was not pleased. Of course, I don't think he's entitled to my attention whenever he demands it. No one anywhere is guraranteed an immediate reply; a response within one business day is standard. He apparently doesn't understand the concept of hiring a freelancer.

I ended the call, stating that I probably wasn't a good match for his expectations and thanking him for his consideration. A few minutes later, the phone rang again.

Guess who?

He still wants me to edit for him even though I declined the project. He agreed to my restictions on communication via email or phone call. I received another message. The check is on its way and would I alert him when I received it?

I've been through this before. The check will undoubtedly be fraudulent. When it arrives, I'll notify the issuing bank and the company which supposedly wrote the check.

I hope to hoist him with own his petard. 

Thank you, William Shakespeare, for that lovely phrase.